If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
