Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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