Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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