I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
