woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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