I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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