I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
