and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
