Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
handjob tips. give me some.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
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