where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
