I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
