it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
