Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
