it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
