Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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