I'm jealous of your bromance
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
