i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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