Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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