One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
