I am in a vortex of obligation.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
