so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
