You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
