matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
