What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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