dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
