If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
