You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
