the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
