i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
