Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
