I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
