nut hugger
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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