just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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