I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
