I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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