so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
