Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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