i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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