I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
