We should be called the Road Head Warriors
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
