i just wanna soil my oats bro
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
