Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
