Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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