Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
