Kareoke will never be a sober sport
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I deserve this hangover.
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
