All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think I died a long time ago.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
