so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
that's an acceptable place to lick
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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