kristin has been a bad kristin
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
