the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
