Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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