i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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