i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
